Crossroads
by XxBrownEyedGrlxX
Summary: Rose and Dimitri react to the big news and have a discussion regarding their future. Can they reach a compromise? Needless to say, major spoilers for the big reveal in The Ruby Circle.


**First of all, I called it. I've been thinking for MONTHS now that restored dhampir's would be able to have kids and I'm SO FRIGGIN GLAD it came true. Especially since I'm like never right about book/show predications lol**

**Anyways let me be the first to say I'm so happy that my babies got the ending they deserved :D Let me also be the first to say I was slightly put out by the fact that we never actually got to see their reaction. I mean they'd have two VEY different reactions, imagine all the wonderful angst!**

**Welp, that's what FF is here for and I just couldn't help myself 3**

**I wrote this at like 1-2 last night and glanced over it this morning, also it's been a while since I've written these characters so if it sucks that's my excuse. Go easy on me, kay?**

**Also, huge shout out to itsquickhidetherum on tumblr who's always super encouraging and also massively talented 3**

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Richelle Mead, I'm just expanding on it!**

"_What I'm about to say is going to change everything you think,"_ Adrian said. His eyes suddenly focused on Dimitri and me, looking far too serious for my liking. _"You two in particular are about to get your worlds rocked."_

I rolled my eyes and glared at him. "Will you stop it with the theatrics and just spit it out already?" I demanded, placing my hands on my hips impatiently. Dimitri placed a hand on my shoulder as if that would suddenly reign in my temper.

He matched my glare with one of his own. "It's hard to just come out and say something like this, Rose." Adrian insisted. His wife looked up from the baby in her arms to shoot both of us an annoyed look, which did a good job of shutting us both up.

I gave an obviously displeased huff and looked at him expectantly. "By now I'm sure you all know that Declan is… special." He began, shifting his jade eyes to the infant in Sydney's arms momentarily. There was a sort of affection there I'd never seen on his face before. Adrian, it seemed, was constantly surprising me. I'd never thought him the marrying type and yet here he was with his beloved wife. I'd _definitely _never thought him to be the fatherly type, but as his eyes lingered on Declan I could tell he'd already fallen in love with the boy. But there was also a sort of pity there, and as his eyes drifted back to us that look followed. "And the reason for that is… Well, impossible as it may seem… Declan is Neil's son. Neil and Olive's son."

The silence seemed to deepen in the room as everyone let that sink in. I, however, was skeptical. "Adrian, you know that's impossible. Maybe Olive just didn't want to –"

He shot me a menacing look that silenced me. "She wouldn't lie about that, Rose." I probably should have known better than to bring up such a sore subject, but did he really expect me to believe this? "And anyways I don't need to take her word, I can _see _it." At first I thought maybe he was talking about a familial resemblance, but he decided to elaborate a little more. "It's in his aura, clear as day. The gold, the mark of spirit, I'd show you if I could but… well."

"What does spirit have to do with thi-" I began to ask before being interrupted by Dimitri.

"Olive was restored using spirit." He clarified, his face was impassive and his voice strong as ever, but there was a spark of something in his eyes. Joy? Excitement?

Adrian nodded. "We think something in the restoration process sort of "fixed" the whole dhampir infertility in her."

I didn't need to see auras to feel the excitement radiating off of Dimitri in waves, and that's when it finally clicked.

"B-But that means –"

"That Dimitri was also likely to be effected as well." Adrian finished. "You understand now why the truth about his parents needs to be kept a secret, right?"

I hardly heard him, I was too busy trying to get the room to stop spinning. Jesus Christ, I don't think I've felt this nauseous since I had the bond. "Oh my god." I managed to choke out, clutching my abdomen as if there was already a baby in there. "I think I'm gonna throw up."

Dimitri placed his hands on my shoulders steadily, probably believing I was actually about to pass out. At this point I wasn't sure he was wrong. "Are you alright, Rose?" His comforting voice permeated the white noise humming in my ears, but it had the opposite of its desired effect. All at once the weight of our differences came crashing down on me. Before, the fact that he'd always wanted kids and I never had wasn't an issue because it was flat out impossible for us either way. But now that it was? Jesus, this was a whole can of worms I never wanted to get into.

Once I had steadied my breathing, I realized everyone's eyes were on us and I felt suffocated again. "I need to – excuse me." I made an abrupt dash for the front door, I also might have slammed it behind me but at that point the only thing I could hear was my own erratic heartbeat in my ears.

_Breathe, Rose. You're a Guardian god damn it, a ROYAL Guardian. You are NOT going to let this bring you to your knees._

But how could I not? This was going to cause so many problems for us. Despite his controlled and calm behavior he was already _so_ excited about this. For so long he'd always thought he'd have to choose between the woman he loved and his dreams of having a family and now he had the choice of having them both and I was _still _standing in his way. _Oh god,_ I thought as I began pacing the length of the wooden porch. _He's going to hate me. And if I compromise on this who's to say I won't grow to hate _him_? How are we even going to live with each other?_

I took a couple of deep breathes and ran my hands through my dark hair, and it was then that I finally realized someone was standing behind me. It didn't take a genius to figure out who it was.

"I really think I should be alone right now, comrade." I murmured shakily.

"We have to talk about this." He replied, ready to face the problem head on as always.

Meanwhile, I wanted to run. Far. "I _know _that, okay?" I said desperately, finally turning to face him. "But it's a lot to take in, alright?"

"I know that, Roza." He replied soothingly, his hand reached out to rub my back in a reassuring manner, making me feel like even more of a nervous wreck by comparison. How was he so calm about this? "It's a lot for me too."

"It's not the same and you know it." I insisted, turning around to fix him with a look. "You've _always _wanted kids, Comrade this is a _good_ thing for you." He was silent at that, causing me to go on. "You know how I've always felt about babies, Dimitri, and it was never an issue because it was never possible but now it is, because now you're _expecting_ it."

"I don't expect anything from you." He insisted immediately. "You know I'd never force you to do anything you were uncomfortable with no matter how much I want it. But, Rose, you won't even _consider_ it?" At that, I looked away from him. So we were getting straight to the heart of it, then. "I'm not saying now, or even within the next _decade_, but you won't even entertain the possibility of a family for us one day?"

"Have you _seen_ me around Declan, Dimitri? Or maybe noticed the fact that I look like a deer in the headlights whenever someone even _suggests _that I hold him?" I asked him. Did he really think _I _was mother material? Even after seeing how I acted around the kid?

"You're just new at it, Roza, it'll get easier." He replied gently.

"Dimitri, I never even felt like I _had _a mother until I was seventeen and before that the best I had was Rhea, how the hell would I even know how to _be _one?" I questioned.

"Rose, don't sell yourself short." He chided, placing a gentle hand on my cheek, his thumb running softly over my skin. "You're one of the most compassionate people I know, and your instinct to protect everyone you come across is unparalleled by anyone I've ever met. Those things alone make me believe you'd be a good mother. That's not even considering the fact that you are so full of love to give. Any child would be lucky to have you as a mother." He smiled down at me, a look of complete adoration on his face. I knew that he believed every word he was saying, that he believed in me, but the problem was that Ididn't know if _I _did.

"You can't tell me you don't have doubts too." I told him, looking up at him seriously. His smile faded slightly and I knew he could tell where I was going with this. "You didn't have a dad any more than I had a mom, comrade, you wanna tell me you think your experiences with _Uncle Rand_ assure you that you're gonna be father material?" That was another thing we'd yet to deal with, but somehow it seemed less important than the issue at hand. "Don't you ever get scared that you could screw up some poor kid's life because the one person who was supposed to show you how to be a father couldn't even do _that?_"

His mouth had set into a hard line, I knew this wasn't something he wanted to discuss but I couldn't help it. At this point I knew I'd never change his mind about a family, and I sure as shit knew that Dimitri would make an excellent father. The bastard was good at everything, but at the very least I needed to get him to see things from my perspective. "You mean do I ever get scared that one day I might start hitting the mother of my child? No, Rose that's not a fear that's ever crossed my mind."

Well, that backfired nicely. "You know that's not what I meant, Dimitri." I backtracked. "Of course that would never happen, but don't you ever get a little scared that maybe one day you'll wake up and realize you have no god damn clue how to raise a kid?" Maybe he didn't. After all who needed a Rand when you had an Olena to show you how to be a parent? Olena Belikova was the person I pictured when I thought of the poster woman for perfect mother, she was what I'd always wanted my mother to be growing up. Dimitri had that example to follow while I had nothing.

"Of course I do but everyone feels that way when it comes to kids, Rose, and people still do it every day. Look and Adrian and Sydney."

"Bu – Wait, what? Is Sydney pregnant?" I asked. Since when were they raising a baby?

"No, but someone has to take care of Declan now, and in Neil's letter he said he wanted it to be them. They're confused and scared too, but they're doing it."

"Neil just _left_? But what about Declan?" We were getting seriously off-topic but I guess that's just what happens when you run out of a room in the middle of an important conversation. And to be honest, the further we drifted away from this conversation the better.

"Yes, I'll explain everything later but for now, do you understand what I'm saying?" He asked, brown eyes practically begging me to understand. "Adrian and Sydney don't know the first thing about raising a child, but they know that they love each other and that they love Declan. They also have a lot of support. Don't you think maybe that if they can do it, we can too?"

Once again I found myself averting my eyes, choosing instead to focus on the floorboards of the porch. I thought about what he had just told me. The thought that Adrian and Sydney could just uproot their already hectic life for Declan, despite not knowing the first thing about raising a baby (much less a baby who was a completely different _species_ than either of them), was jarring. I wanted to say that if they could do it, maybe one day I could too. But there was still so much doubt in the back of my mind. Dimitri and I had full-time jobs, _dangerous_ full-time jobs that had an alarming on-the-job death rate. Who's to say I wouldn't pull a Janine Hathaway one day and abandon my kid to be raised by Guardians in a school? Who's to say that one of us wouldn't die prematurely in the line of duty and leave the hypothetical kid an orphan?

I couldn't give him a yes or a no, not with these fears in the back of my mind, not with the news still being so fresh. There was a lot to think about, but he still deserved some sort of answer. "I…I'll think about it." I whispered unsurely. "I'm not saying yes and I'm not saying no, okay?"

All at once his demeanor change, the smile I loved was back. I was almost afraid I'd given him too much hope, but his next words soothed me a bit. "I don't need a yes, all that matters is that it's not a no."

I gave a tired smile and allowed him to bow his head to peck me on the lips. With our new "compromise" out there, we decided to head back inside.

Hours later, when everyone had already fallen asleep, I was still wide awake. The day had been beyond crazy. When Dimitri and I went back in the house I was filled in on the situation. Neil left because it was truly what was best for Declan. Normally I'd never defend the abandonment of a child, but in this case it _was_ the safest options. There would be too many questions, and as Adrian had demonstrated any aura-seeing spirit user would be able to see the truth. As much as I loved Sonya, she was the last person who could be able to know about this. She was so caught up in the greater good of spirit research, I didn't know for sure if she'd ever stop and consider what was best for the baby.

I think talking about how precarious Declan's situation was sobered Dimitri up a little bit. Even if we both wanted a baby it'd be a long time before it was safe to have one without the risk of everyone and their mothers wanting to study it. Lacking as I was in the maternal department, I'd still be damned before I let that fate befall any baby of mine. I'd always thought that if I'd ever had a kid I might follow in my mother's footsteps, but at this rate the opposite option was seeming more likely. What if we did have a kid and I was forced to pull an _Abe_? He and my mom mutually agreed it was best for him to stay away because it was what was safest. It was what Neil had to do, what if we'd have no choice but to do so either?

There was still hope in his eyes, though. And to be honest, despite the impossibility of it all I was beginning to wonder what a family would be like for us too. Even though I was unsure and I knew it was unsafe I still found myself wondering. Would it be a boy or a girl? Would it have his straight light brown locks or my dark chocolate waves? Would it be brash and impulsive or calm and reserved?

A part of me knew that asking myself these questions was, in some way, accepting that it might become a reality someday. But I wasn't able to tell him that, not yet. I couldn't say it unless I was certain, and at the moment I wasn't. He'd already made sure to let me know that, whatever I chose, he'd never regret his decision to be with me though, and I was grateful. I wouldn't be able to stand it if he came to regret not choosing Tasha or some other willing Moroi woman.

When I was certain I wasn't going to go to sleep anytime soon, I stood up and went to the sitting room where Declan's bassinette was located. Everyone else was scattered in various guest rooms in Clarence's house, Adrian and Sydney's room was just down the hall and Eddie slept soundly on the couch nearby. The kid was in good hands, I'd give him that much.

We were all set to leave in the morning, all except Adrian, Sydney, and Declan, who'd go to an unknown location. The world had to believe Sydney was pregnant, which meant keeping her and the baby out of sight. For now, though he was sleeping soundly, a rarity for newborns I'm told. I watched him intently, the one who'd caused so much trouble, the one whose mere existence completely changed my life, I couldn't even believe one tiny little being could be the source of so much drama. But as I studied him, the slow rise and fall of his chest, the slight curling of his little fingers I knew he was worth every bit of it. Neil and Olive had made a beautiful little baby that much was for certain.

I found myself smiling slightly at his sleeping form up until his eyes slowly blinked open. We stared at each other for a moment before the small whimpers began to spill from his lips.

"Oh, shh, no, no, no. It's okay, don't cry!" I whispered hastily in the most soothing voice I could muster, holding my hands out in front of me as if that alone would pacify him. The last thing I needed was for everyone to wake up. He didn't seem to care what I wanted, though, as the whimpering became louder until I was forced to pick him up.

It wasn't the first time I'd held him, so I at the very least knew how to do _that_. I rocked him gently, whispering small pleas for him to stay quiet all the while. To be honest I didn't even know if I was rocking him the right way. And Dimitri thought we could handle one of our own? Ha!

And then something amazing happened: He stopped. As I stared at the little bundle in shock, he simply looked up at me with those big eyes of his as if telling me _'Yeah, that just happened.' _He reached his tiny hand up to grab a fistful of my shirt and I found myself smiling.

"You're a cool little dude, y'know that?" I asked him in a hushed whisper. He cooed and I took that as an affirmation that he was already well aware of his own coolness.

I don't know how long I stood there rocking him, but eventually his little baby grip faltered and his eyes began to flutter shut.

"Getting tired again, little man?" My only answer was a tiny yawn that I found it hard not to _aww_ at. "Alright, let's get you back to be –" I stopped short at the tall figure in the doorway. I could only see a silhouette, but I still knew immediately who it was. "And how long have _you _been lurking?" I asked, quirking a brow.

"Not too long." Dimitri responded coyly, his eyes drifting from me to the baby. I knew that he'd most likely seen everything, but somehow I was glad. "I think he's taken a liking to you." He observed.

I smirked. "Maybe the feeling's mutual."

"See? They're not so scary."

"Maybe when they're being well-behaved." I snorted before adding, "But I guess you're right."

"Mhmm." He reached out to take Declan's tiny little hand in his own. I almost laughed at the sheer difference in size.

"If anything, I figure Declan can make for some good practice."

His eyes were still trained on the baby in my arms, but I knew he had understood my meaning when his contented smile widened just that much more. He leaned in and placed a loving kiss on the side of my head, his arms enveloping both me and the baby in an embrace. For a moment I think we were both happy to pretend that Declan was ours, and that we were already a family. One day, though… One day it could be our reality, and I found a large part of myself almost couldn't wait.

**Welp there it is, told you it might suck D: I know some people might think Rose overreacted in this, and I get it. I always thought that Rose might easily warm up to the idea of kids too, but after reading her interactions with Declan in the book I figured it'd be more complicated than that. Anyways, hope you guys liked it despite all that!**


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